break up with picking your skin
This is a hot topic these days. So many clients have been coming in studio and sharing that they’re picking at their skin— wether it be popping their pimples, scratching their scabs or scrubbing blackheads so vigorously that their skin is inflamed immediately after. I think we can all agree that picking at our skin is a bad habit. Oftentimes, my clients remark this immediately after sharing that they’ve done it. So, why is this habit so prevalent and hard to break?
Firstly, I’d like to mention that this is a very common habit and if you’re reading this thinking “this is me!” know that you’re not alone. We could start a whole support group of skin-pickers (should we?!). In order to effectively break a habit, I think it’s important to begin by understanding why this habit developed in the first place. I have a couple of theories:
You are a self-taught aesthetician with a firm belief in extractions. Maybe your mom, your older sister, or another adult frequently present during your upbringing would habitually pick at their skin, so you picked up their techniques. Maybe you’ve watched so many pimple-popper videos online that you’re now confident in self-extractions. Either way, you believe that this is what needs to be done to whatever blemish you see on your face (and maybe other parts of your body, too).
There’s an emotional connection to your skin-picking (which is often overlooked). You could be someone who strives to control many aspects of your life, and this is one way you can feel more in control. Alternatively, you could be dealing with anxiety and this is a physical manifestation of that. At the root of this is an underlying issue which you are taking out on your skin— essentially, it’s a form of self-harm.
With at-home extractions there tends to be an urgency involved. In treatment, I’ll prep the skin for about 30mins before even attempting extractions. Following the extractions, I’ll often treat the skin for another 15 minutes or more to lessen inflammation and restore it back to radiance. Going straight into extractions without adequately preparing the skin can results in further damage, often resulting in prolonged inflammation and bacteria spread. This creates a vicious cycle as we attempt to put out a fire but are actually adding fuel to it.
I see a lot of different skin types and concerns in studio and it’s always interesting to see patterns that form among various groups of people. Recently I had a client who spoke about how she still picks at her skin even though the terrible acne she dealt with in adolescence is no longer present and her skin is essentially flawless. This is an example of a deeply ingrained habit that has been in the subconscious for so long that it can be hard to escape. She admitted that sometimes she engages in the act of picking her skin without much thought, a disassociation of sorts, then re-emerges into reality once the skin has broken and blood is surfacing, bringing her back to the present moment. Oftentimes, this can be followed by shame, guilt and questioning “why did I just do that?”. I find this aspect of picking the skin so interesting because it’s so clear to me that it has nothing to do with the skin itself, and everything to do with a deep rooted unresolved emotional conflict within us.
On a biological level, when we see a blemish on our skin and get stressed out about it, as many of us understandably do, our body floods with a release of cortisol and adrenaline— a chemical cocktail made to mobilize us. It makes sense that we would want to act upon the blemish we see, and we very well may do so since we’ve got some excess energy to use up. How we decide to mobilize ourselves is crucial— Can we transform our desire to act upon our blemishes into a habit thats helpful instead of harmful?
If we are using the act of picking at our skin as a coping mechanism for unresolved emotional turmoil within us, we can recognize this while admitting we’re having a hard time adjusting our behaviours. It can be helpful to seek the support of a therapist if we are having trouble navigating this journey on our own. Knowing the right thing to do is one thing, actually doing it is another. Adequate support is key in attaining sustainable success in our healing.
Why do we do it? What’s at the root here, causing this action to occur? One thing I know for sure is that mental patterns and behaviours that throw us into chaos arise firstly as an attempt to regulate our nervous systems. Renowned Canadian physician and author Gabor Maté speaks to this in his book The Myth Of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture.
“Many actions and beliefs that look like pure insanity from one perspective make sense from another - and always make sense at the start.”
What i’ve found from my experience working as a skin therapist for 10+ years and dealing with a wide variety of people is that it’s a compulsive habit— unconscious behaviour experienced by many but wanted by few. Broken down into three simple steps, let’s re-cap how to break up with picking your skin:
Step 1: Explore the origins of this habit.
Step 2: Question why you’re still doing it.
Step 3: Replace the self-harm with a healthy habit
Here are some suggestions of healthy habits you could implement into your routine instead:
Deep breathing. Even just one deep breath. The act of focusing on our breath, even just for a moment, provides us with a moment to pause and reflect. It gives us space to tune into ourselves and come back into the present moment. We can use this time to ask ourselves how best to proceed from a place of consciousness.
Positive self-talk. Your blemishes are the least interesting thing about your skin. Remind yourself of this! Our thoughts manifest in the physical world. How we think about our skin matters. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful. Tell yourself you’re enough. You’re perfect just the way you are, blemishes and all.
Compassionate inquisition. Our skin acts as a portal to our inner landscape. We can use this as a tool for inquiry— what is our skin trying to say to us? Our bodies are always sending us messages, are we listening? Lean into the conversation your skin is trying to have with you. It can mean there is excess inflammation in the body, an imbalance of hormones (ie. increased cortisol releases more sebum production which can lead to blemishes), lack of vital minerals and nutrients etc.
Spot treat blemishes. Instead of attacking your skin and exacerbating inflammation, use a spot treatment, zinc-based balm or ice cube wrapped in paper towel to reduce inflammation.
Hydrate. A no-brainer for healthy, vibrant skin— drink your water! When you feel yourself gravitating towards picking the skin, grab for a fresh glass of water instead, or some cold-pressed carrot juice. Carrots are high in vitamin A— nature’s retinol— a great alternative to your topical retinol prescription.
Shifting your habit will give you a better understanding of what’s really going on within your skin, and you’ll start to realize how efficiently your skin can work to repair itself with the right habits.
x Cassandra
Does this resonate? Let us know in the comment’s below 👇
